So don't think you know a thing about a thing you know nothing about

[renegadedriving]

Who: Cam and Shepard

What: Breakfast out! . . . To warn the kid about Conrad.

When: Backdated to the 13th

Where: . . . Someplace that serves breakfast!


[You know, Conrad is pretty harmless at home, provided he doesn't have a gun with the safety off. But around here, Shepard's taking care of a whole lot of kids, and she's a little bit afraid that he'll try to impress her by impressing them. Or tell them her less child-safe war stories.]

[Cam, being the kid she sees the most often thanks to their breakfast tradition, is the first person she's warning. She doesn't raise the topic until they're into the restaurant and the Swanmon at the front shows them to their table.]

So. Have you been watching the network the past few days?

Comments

[headup_stickontheice]

[Out to breakfast, this is new. It's not like he doesn't like it. He's looking over a menu, now let's see, what doesn't have milk in it...]

Huh? Yeah, sorta. Some...interesting new people around here. [Like Mr. Flemming, though he seemed alright once Cam actually talked to him.]

[renegadedriving]

[She sighs and taps her fingers on the table as she thinks of how to word this.]

Did you see someone named Conrad?

[headup_stickontheice]

Conrad?

[A Toucanmon brings them their drinks and Cam quietly thanks him.]

Uhhh... Yeah. Yeah, he was having uh, a hard time of everything. Didn't really think I could help much, so...

[renegadedriving]

[Shepard smiles a bit at that. Thank you for not talking to him already, Cam.]

To put it bluntly... He's from home.

[She runs a hand through her hair and groans.]

And he once attempted to leave his wife to come join me in combat. With no training. Because he's my biggest fan. To a creepy extent.

[headup_stickontheice]

[Water slips up Cam's straw as his eyebrows raise.] Oh. Oh, well. That's, uh... ...uh.

...He's not gonna start stalking you, right? [He might be just a little aggressively protective.]

[renegadedriving]

[She sighs heavily, as though trying to push all this unpleasantness out through her lungs.]

He probably will. To some degree, at least.

[She takes a large gulp of coffee and winces slightly when it burns her mouth.]

It's not really a secret that I've taken a shine to you, and if he starts digging around... Well. I thought you deserved a proper warning.

[headup_stickontheice]

...You think he's gonna start stalking me? [Clearly this is something Cam didn't quite consider. It's at this point their waiter comes to ask for their orders...and it's at this point that Cam has to tell him to come back in five minutes.]

[renegadedriving]

[Shepard rubs at the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes shut as if against a potential headache.]

Yes and no. I don't think he'll stalk you, but I think you'll end up dragged into this one way or another. I wanted to give you a heads up.

[headup_stickontheice]

Great... Don't suppose you know any way to make him stop?

[It sounds silly as soon as it leaves his mouth; if she knew, of course she'd have tried it already.]

[renegadedriving]

Luckily, he's not too hard to avoid.

[Usually. He does have a habit of showing up in weird places.]

[headup_stickontheice]

What's he look like? I didn't...get a good look on the network.

[renegadedriving]

Hold on.

[She pulls out her own D-Terminal and pulls up a picture. She's been making a habit of screen catching anyone she might be looking for.]

Like this.

[headup_stickontheice]

[Cam nods. Okay, looks distinct enough.] So if I see him, just run the other way?

[Cam.....]

[renegadedriving]

[Shepard laughs, which sounds like it surprises her.]

Technically, that'd work.

[headup_stickontheice]

It means I wouldn't have to talk to him.

[WHY CONFRONT WHEN YOU CAN RUN, look when a stalker's involved....]

[renegadedriving]

[She's full on grinning now.]

And you could probably easily outrun him.

[headup_stickontheice]

And if he bothers you?

[renegadedriving]

Honestly my only ideas include shaving my head or digivolving Monodramon.

And punching. They all involve punching.

[headup_stickontheice]

Go with the punching every time.

[renegadedriving]

It does solve a lot of problems with people who harass you.

. . .

Have I ever told you about the reporter I punched?

[headup_stickontheice]

Wha, no! [You're too excited about this, kid.] What happened? What were they doing? Did it leave a bruise?

[renegadedriving]

[Shepard laughs and leans forward to rest her arms on the table.]

So, we'd had this huge battle, right? I had some sway in how things turned out. I had the human fleet send help to a ship that was in serious trouble.

[She pauses for a moment, thinking of how to explain this.]

It was... Think the whole Air Force One thing in America. It had the entire governing council for galactic society on board, as well as about ten thousand others.

[She grins, and there's an obvious pride to it.]

So this woman begs me for an interview while I'm in the middle of heading to a mission, in full armor and everything. And when I finally agree, she starts in with these leading questions, accusing me of being a traitor to my people, because most of the lives we saved were alien.

[Shepard grins wider.]

And hell yeah, it left a bruise.

[headup_stickontheice]

[Cam listens, enraptured, as Shepard tells her story, and his grin just spreads and spreads. Dang, she really was like a super hero back in her world.]

Wow. That's...that is seriously amazing, Miss Shepard. You're kinda badass.

[renegadedriving]

[Shepard laughs, but certainly doesn't refute that statement.]

I'll admit, the two best parts of my job are punching out sleazebags and aliens naming male children "Jane".

[headup_stickontheice]

Well, it's a good thing you're good at it.