Adults are basically 12 year olds with more alcohol

[renegadedriving]

Who: Shepard, Garrus, Shepard's adult CR
What: In order to introduce her boyfriend to her friends, Shepard throws a party. With bacon. And beer. And anything others bring!
When: Backdated to Friday
Where: The Communal Kitchen

[Today, Shepard is introducing Garrus to the adults of terminal. They’ve settled into the communal kitchen, and Shepard has pulled out all the supplies she’ll need to make bacon.]

[And there are multiple 6-packs of beer on the counter.]

You ready for the least conventional human dinner party of your life?

Are we talking our sort of “conventional,” or the actual, boring kind?

The ‘I have no idea if this even counts as a dinner party anymore’ kind.

Somehow, I just knew that was going to be the answer

[Although judging from his amused grin he’s not exactly displeased with the fact.]

Probably for the best. I don’t exactly have a suit and tie handy.

[Shepard grins right back.]

Bacon is hardly suit and tie food. Although you’d probably look good like that... Better than I do in fancy dresses, anyways.

High praise, considering I had to pick my mandibles up off the floor when I saw you heading to Hock’s party.

. . . I wouldn’t tell that story, if I were you. It involved a lot of thievery.

[A pause.]

Okay, actually, it just involved me in a horrible dress and I’m pretty sure the network already saw me in pajamas, my friends don’t need to hear about my other clothing disasters.

[She glances at the doors.]

You ready for this?

[You can tell by that smirk of his he’s going to be asking around for pictures of that.]

I think with everything we’ve been through I’m ready for just about anything. Dinner parties are a new one, though.

Meat and alcohol isn’t, though. You’ll do fine.

[He chuckles, and puts an arm around her waist]

Well, when you put it like that …

[Shepard tugs Garrus down for a quick kiss, grins, then wiggles out of his grasp to go open the doors.]

Then let’s do this thing.

Comments

[calibrates_big_guns]

None taken, I'm not human. [Then he remembers. The fact he's suddenly changed species will take some getting used to yet.] Or at least I wasn't before I got here.

[robotfightclub]

[Oh, well that's certainly a surprise for her. She almost feels bad now...]

And here I thought I'd be the last one to assume something like that... Well, you pass. Not sure if that's good, though.

[calibrates_big_guns]

Beats me ... but I'm not so sure it's a bad thing either. And as for passing, well, you spend enough time on a human ship, and a few things are bound to rub off on you.

[robotfightclub]

[Oh right, Shepard mentioned humans in space awhile back. It's so strange ...they're a baby race. Babies in space.]

I still don't know how I feel about humans having ships in the first place. Either they got a lot more organized in the future, or the universe somehow became a better babysitter.

[calibrates_big_guns]

At least in our time, they've more or less become unified as a race. There's still some radical splinter groups, but those exist everywhere.

As for the baby-sitter, the Citadel council keeps a close eye on new races. If it wasn't for the Council intervening, things could be very different.

[robotfightclub]

Huh...

[The fact that humans were able to unify and her race still hasn't kind of burns.

So much for the baby comment.]

And the Council is...?

[calibrates_big_guns]

The Council is the government for Citadel Space. The Three-- four, since humanity joined, biggest races on the galaxy each have a representative, they make the rules the rest of the galaxy plays to.

All the races have their own government and territory, but by and large they're part of the Citadel Government. They follow the rules, get protection, aid, trading agreements ...

I think a human on the Normandy called it "The U.N. on steroids," whatever that means.

[robotfightclub]

I don't understand this mindset where other races can tell everyone else what to do. Let me guess, they're all organic, too.

[She begins muttering at this point.]

Either we never had a say in this, or we're all dead by time this happens.

[And that's terrifying.]

[calibrates_big_guns]

I don't really think too much of it. I guess that comes from being turian. Discipline's in your blood.

[Although from the almost sarcastic note in his voice, you can tell he's probably not a very good turian.

He does catch that last bit though. It's a scary thought, knowing your race might not be around. And he also caught that part about everyone being organic. You don't exactly need to be a genius to figure out what that means.]

I take it this isn't exactly how you normally look either.

[robotfightclub]

[What the hell is a turian--NO WAIT, no need to be a massive hypocrite. Just because she doesn't know a race, doesn't mean she has to treat them poorly.]

Far from it. To give you an idea, humans normally came up to my knees. I was also on the short side...

You have no idea how badly I want this scrap over and done with. If I hadn't been stationed on Earth before getting dragged into this mess, I would've gone insane.

[But enough about her.]

So what about you? How different's a...turian?

[calibrates_big_guns]

[Well. Someone like her could have come in handy back on Omega.]

Well, not quite that different, but different. Normally I'm a bit taller, have mandibles, a metallic carapace, few other differences ...

[Even as a human he looks a bit different. The parts of his eyes that should be white are black, and his features are sharper, more predatory.]

[robotfightclub]

[You know, she was wondering about that...]

So you were a human-sized bug?

[Bug, raptor-bird thing, totally the same. Good job, Arcee.]

[calibrates_big_guns]

We're ah, we're actually descended from birds. The carapace evolved in pretty much every animal back on Palaven. Weak magnetic field around the planet, more solar radiation gets through ...

[robotfightclub]

[Oh. Evolution. She'll just stop there, what is organic biology?]

I'll take your word for it.