fullofthorns: (crying)
Roze Ichishi ([personal profile] fullofthorns) wrote in [community profile] thefolder 2013-09-28 05:11 am (UTC)

She turned when he pulled her, eyes gazing up, so bright in the dimly lit bedroom. Her face was still burned and scraped, still pretty underneath. He could feel heath filling her cheeks and just barely see the color rushing into them as she swallowed audibly, eyes glittering with moisture.

"I'm not the hero in my story, Pretty Boy. I'm the kid that turns into a villain somewhere down the line and dies in their redemption arc...doin' the right thing at the last minute and givin' someone else the chance at a life I didn't get. I'm okay with that, though. I'm honest with myself, at least. I know when I'm doin' wrong, and I know when other people are, too. I got a nose for bullshit. It keeps me good at the end of the day, but I know I'm not a very good person, babe. I'm really not. Sometimes I like hurting people, because it makes me feel better. I haven't had to, here. No one has really made me feel bad about myself or anything. Here I'm able to just...well. I know its me. I have time. I don't have my family pushing me and pushing me and pushing me until I just blow up, y'know?"

She swallowed again, throat tight and nostrils flaring in effort to avoid tears.

"You're different, you know. You're not bad. You're just busted. You'll get better. I'm scared I won't. I have to choose between being me and being what makes people like me. Where you...you're not really this lonely little ice-berg. You're just...you need people. When you start letting them in, you'll find the real you. Though I guess maybe I will...maybe I need people too. I was always around the demons and stuff but...I guess maybe I wanted other people to accept me. It was always kind of a given that demons would like me fine. But I was raised with human kids and...human kids never liked me. Maybe we're all kinda messed up..."

She huffed another laugh, rolling her eyes and muttering an irritable sound when tears trickled out the far corners and down the sides of her face anyways.

"That's why I'm so upset...I don't want you and Princess and Shorty mad at me...I didn't mean to mess up so bad and now I'm afraid you won't like me anymore, when you guys barely like me already..."

There it was. Just like that, and admission in minutes; not even a proper interrogation. Roze was an honest person, she hated lies, she hated keeping things in and she wanted to get it off her chest. She just needed the open forum.

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