thefolder | The weather outside is effin' FRIGHTFUL...

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The weather outside is effin' FRIGHTFUL...

Who: Roze, Squall, Neku, Musashi, Terri, Lance and Squire...and maybe stupid Seifer [closed]
What: MOVIE NIGHT
When: During the Cat-Dog Storm of '13
Where: Apt F309

It took a little work and more patience than Roze had on her own, but Neku finally manged to transfer some of Roze's ipod to her D-T and a more universal format. Music - thank God - books and movies. Even some of her music videos, which was a bigger relief than she had thought it would be.

Since there had been so much trouble and she'd barely managed to make up for her - in her mind - on the snow day, Roze decided to invite Team Dumbass over for movies and snacks.

Seifer refused. She texted Squall, Seifer and Neku, bouncing back and forth forever but in the end, Seifer blew her off. She had presents for Squall and Seifer both and had hoped to give them over before watching movies. Without Princess there she ended up sliding the box under her bed. He'd made it pretty clear he wanted nothing to do with any of them.

It bothered her, but she'd cope. She was used to disappointment.

So there she sat on the couch with Musashi, ignoring the occasional thuds and yelps or screeches against the outside apartment walls.

Mm, nope, not gonna even think about the crazy ass weather.

"Volcano High...really...I hope Squall doesn't just walk out on me, haha."

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She turned when he pulled her, eyes gazing up, so bright in the dimly lit bedroom. Her face was still burned and scraped, still pretty underneath. He could feel heath filling her cheeks and just barely see the color rushing into them as she swallowed audibly, eyes glittering with moisture.

"I'm not the hero in my story, Pretty Boy. I'm the kid that turns into a villain somewhere down the line and dies in their redemption arc...doin' the right thing at the last minute and givin' someone else the chance at a life I didn't get. I'm okay with that, though. I'm honest with myself, at least. I know when I'm doin' wrong, and I know when other people are, too. I got a nose for bullshit. It keeps me good at the end of the day, but I know I'm not a very good person, babe. I'm really not. Sometimes I like hurting people, because it makes me feel better. I haven't had to, here. No one has really made me feel bad about myself or anything. Here I'm able to just...well. I know its me. I have time. I don't have my family pushing me and pushing me and pushing me until I just blow up, y'know?"

She swallowed again, throat tight and nostrils flaring in effort to avoid tears.

"You're different, you know. You're not bad. You're just busted. You'll get better. I'm scared I won't. I have to choose between being me and being what makes people like me. Where you...you're not really this lonely little ice-berg. You're just...you need people. When you start letting them in, you'll find the real you. Though I guess maybe I will...maybe I need people too. I was always around the demons and stuff but...I guess maybe I wanted other people to accept me. It was always kind of a given that demons would like me fine. But I was raised with human kids and...human kids never liked me. Maybe we're all kinda messed up..."

She huffed another laugh, rolling her eyes and muttering an irritable sound when tears trickled out the far corners and down the sides of her face anyways.

"That's why I'm so upset...I don't want you and Princess and Shorty mad at me...I didn't mean to mess up so bad and now I'm afraid you won't like me anymore, when you guys barely like me already..."

There it was. Just like that, and admission in minutes; not even a proper interrogation. Roze was an honest person, she hated lies, she hated keeping things in and she wanted to get it off her chest. She just needed the open forum.

He frowned even more. He hated seeing her like this. He hated that he pretty much caused her to look like this. With his thumbs he gently wipes the tears from her eyes and shakes his head.

" You think we're any different? Maybe not Neku but Seifer and me? That's what we were trained for. To hurt people. I get paid to hurt people. And you know what? I have no remorse for it either. It's an order so I do it. We all are screwed up a little. You are included in that. You've already admitted you want people to like you. You want to be loved. That's not the thoughts of a bad person. A bad person a legitimately bad person would do whatever the hell they want and not care. They would go around destroying this place and shrug it off. You're an idiot for thinking that and you're an idiot for thinking we hate you. Why do you think you messed up? What in this hard head of yours makes you think that? The fact that you think you're such a godawful person and that you don't want to work with us is what makes us mad. Not anything that happened."

He's going to need some water after this. After all of this talking he's doing right now. He continues to wipe the tears from her eyes. If Kotemon woke up any second now he'd probably try and fight Squall.

Fortunately for Squall the little bugger was a heavy sleeper. He adapted, considering how often he'd had try sleeping through Dante's visits, crashed out on the couch. Quiet talking wasn't about to wake him.

"I fell in. I got everyone hurt by being a shithead. I shoulda just listened to Princess and let Shorty check and everything woulda just gone fine but I had to protest, y'know? I just couldn't listen. And then...everything happened...and the voices..." she trailed off, eyes sliding to the side, her pulse thundering in a mix of upset from the memory of the dark area that had shaken her more than she'd thought, and Squall's own close proximity, so carefully wiping away her tears. Tears that only made her feel more ashamed.

I must seem completely ridiculous right now. All the shouting and playing and being a nuisance and then here I am, sobbing like fuckin' child...I'm sorry. We were just supposed to have a good time..."

Edited 2013-09-28 05:34 (UTC)

"If Neku had done so, he would have fallen in and the situation would have been the same. Going anywhere inside of it was a dumb idea in the first place," he said softly.

It was so weird seeing her break down like this. He was used to her being the strong one and her being all in your face. She looked so... vulnerable right now. He had to make sure he didn't screw up or things could plummet.

"Idiot. You tell me to express myself all the time. "

He pushed himself back against the pillows and led her head to rest in his lap. That was suppose to be comforting too right? He didn't know. He was terrible at this.

She followed, a bit surprised by the adjustment and moving without hesitation. She rested her head tentatively, knowing full well he wasn't doing anything he might typically have done. A small part of her was thrilled - a larger part felt sorry that she'd been so weak as to merit it.

"I express myself all the time...mostly it seems to either barely amuse people, or just outright annoy them. Some people take it...pretty well but. You know, its hard to laugh all the time, trying to will the silence when other people are angry and quiet..." she murmured, curling against him and looking at him from his lap.

"I don't want to be sad or angry. I feel like...I have to hid it more...because I want to cultivate better things in other people. You can't make people smile if you don't smile too."

"If you hold it in you'll turn into me. Is that really what you want to become? Because honestly I think you're better as you."

He awkwardly sets his hand on her head and stares up at the ceiling. It was a little less awkward for him if he looked up rather than at her. He figured it might make her feel less embarrassed too.

She sniffed, rubbing her face in the interim and giving herself a moment to recover a fraction of her composure. It was a little easier. Not much though. She wondered if he was uncomfortable and regretted staying, which only upset her more. She managed to contain that, however, reminding herself that he was good at refusing to do what he really did not want to.
Cajoling him and convincing him was one thing, but he wouldn't have stayed if he didn't feel like it. She only hoped he didn't feel obligated.

"Then say it," she remarked, staring at his leg, focusing on where the knee rose and created a curve in his pants. "Tell me what I am, Pretty Boy..." Prove that I'm not just 'nothing'...

"You're Roze. You're a loud girl with a good heart. You talk to idiots like me and you try to make their lives nicer. You put everyone ahead of you and you try to make them all happy, I guess because it makes you happy too? I dunno. You're Seventeen. You're about six feet. You have piercing green eyes and extremely noticeable pink hair. You're bouncy and perverted. And from what I've seen you make a lot of people happy. "

He shifted a little awkwardly to make sure she was more comfortable in his lap. without realizing it he tapped her shoulder with his other hand just gently drumming his fingers on her shoulder.

She blinked, face coloring faintly as he spoke before he said her age. Then her...her height? It started off as a snort, ringing in her ears as she presseda fist to her mouth, shoulders shaking with the effort to contain herself. Tears trickled from her eyes again, and before either of them knew it she was laughing, pushing herself to sit upright next to him. It took several minutes for her to stop, a hand pressed to her chest as she gasped for air, tears streaming.

"Oh...Oh my God...*gasp* Hahaha, oh...oh it hurts...my face hurts..." she whined, mouth stuck in a wide smile, eyes squinting and red-rimmed as she groped in the air and finally grabbed his shoulder, dropping her head against it while she laughed and hiccuped helplessly.

It was simply too absurd. Here she was, crying, consoled by one of the most emotionally immovable people the place had to offer, and when asked for some kind of revelation about herself, he described her age and height in with everything else?

"P-pretty...Pretty Boy...You..." she choked on a laugh, raised her head and stared at him, smile relaxed enough to be fond instead of hysterical. "You don't know how wonderful you genuinely are. I really want to be there the day you finally let everything go."

He would have mentioned her weight and blood type too, but he currently doesn't know the answer to either. He was a little taken back when she started laughing like that. Was... it a good thing that she was laughing? It might be a good thing.

He was a bit tense with her being so close like this, but he didn't shove her off, not yet anyway. He'd give her a moment before shoving her off.

"You're a little delirious I think. "

"No. No. I'm just grateful I have you as a friend," she remarked, her tone entirely genuine as she sat up and rubbed her face. Eventually she sat there, hands in her lap as she gaze at his face, lips pursed in a small frown.

"I want to kiss you," she stated without preamble as she stared hard at him for several moments. Eventually she sighed softly in disappointment as she turned back onto her side and tugged the blankets over them both again.

"I wish you wanted to kiss me. I understand though. And...Squall..." she used his name, serious and as honest as possible without a hint of playfulness. "...Thank you. For everything."

Edited 2013-09-28 06:52 (UTC)

He gave her a confusing look as she moved back down on the bed. He wasn't really sure if he did anything to help but she was thanking him so he must have? He also figured she was just being herself with that kissing comment.

he shifted awkwardly the faint blush appearing on his cheeks once more.

" I didn't really do anything."

"Shut up. Yes you did. You let me talk and you made me feel better and you didn't judge me for it. What more could anyone really ask, Pretty Boy? You did everything a good friend should do. Sure, you're a little stiff on the delivery...but you know what's important. That's enough."

She huffed a sigh, looking over her shoulder at him and twitching her head to the side.

"Come on and lay back down. Its chilly." It wasn't, but it was the invitation back without having to claim affection for the reason.

" I just wanted you to stop talking like that. Because it's troublesome hearing you think you're a screw up."

He trailed off a little as he slowly moved back down in the bed. He knew she would be bothered if he didn't resume their previous position so he slowly moved back to curl against her, though she could still probably feel how tense he was.

Let him be tense. Dammit she wanted comfort.

"I am a screw up, but you are right...we all have room for improvement and that doesn't make us hopeless cases. The jury is still out. We're worth every effort we expend on each other. I just..."

She fell quiet for a moment, resting her head on the pillows and staring forward once more.

"I just kept hearing my mother tell me I was nothing. I'm ungrateful and weak and nothing, over and over. And...I don't know if I am or not."

"If you were nothing, then I would look pretty foolish spooning the air right now," He says in his usual deadpan way.

He moved his hand back to her stomach lightly touching it. His other hand reaches up awkwardly to pat her head. People liked that, right?

She flat-eyed at the head-patting, lips curling into a mildly-amused smirk before she rolled over, nose to nose with him and arched a brow.

"I can't decide if your jokes suck or if they're really good. Now, we can lay like this, or you can roll over and we'll spoon right because you're acting ridiculous and I'm gonna straighten this out for you so next time you know what the fuck you're doin'."

He gave her a strange look before slowly and awkwardly turning on his other side and curling up a bit. He tucked his arms in close and braced himself for her closeness.

"I've been told that my sense of humor needs a little work. And by that I mean I keep getting told they didn't know I could joke."

"Everyone can joke, but its mostly about delivery. And appropriateness level I guess. Like...you wouldn't want to make a joke about babies around a woman that just lost her kids or something," she mused, scooting in close and fitting herself against him without half the hesitation Squall displayed, tucking her legs in against his and cupping his backside into the curve of her lap.

She draped one arm around his waist, resisting the urge to snake it under his shirt. She liked resting her hand higher to feel heartbeats when she could but she knew he wouldn't understand the reason and chose to avoid it. Her other hand she tucked under the pillow, letting her rest particularly close, letting her nuzzle her face against his head and neck as she chose.

"I think when you finally let yourself accept that you have friends that aren't going anywhere, you'll branch out a little more. I doubt you'll ever manage professional stand-up, but sooner or later you'll know when to say something to change the mood of a room or turn around a bad conversation."

He felt shivers going down his neck with her warm breath brushing against it. The last time he remembered them being this close was during Dante's party when she yanked him into his first kiss. His face started flushing again and his heart sped up a little just thinking about it. He just hoped it wasn't as loud as it sounded to him.

"What if I still want to be my same asshole self? It's sort of becoming my "thing" after all," he said softly while doing little air quotes. Not that he thinks she can see them, but still.

He shifted against her just a little bit and scratches at his head a little.

She moved, letting his shift and scratch and do whatever he needed to be more comfortable or take more control of his immediate environment. She was blunt and sometimes very stubborn, but that didn't mean she lacked perception. She'd wanted him to be big spoon because he'd have more control of things, but he simply refused to learn. While she was big spoon she could at least be accommodating until he fell asleep.

"I don't really think you do. Wearing armor all the time gets tiring and tedious. You gotta take it off once in a while. Shit I mean, even I have to have a cry now and again just so I don't explode. I'm not sayin' peel yourself like a banana and let everyone have a go at you, I'm just sayin' I know how much it can hurt when your behavior accidentally hurts someone else you didn't really intend to. You don't have to be open and carefree, Pretty Boy. You just have to open the portcullis once in a while for special guests that you invited in personally."

He snorted a little at that comment. Special guests huh? He highly doubts anyone would want to be a special guest to him exploding. It just seemed kinda silly to him.

He rolled his shoulders a little and leaned back into her again.

"Maybe when I'm less screwed up."

She tightened her grip against him briefly when he leaned back, squeezing him in a light hug before relaxing to nuzzle against the back of his neck.

"I'll be around either way. I don't mind waiting outside the castle and laying waste to the fields while the Roze Army keeps you under siege. We'll starve the Squall Army out sooner or later. Then you'll be beggin' to come out."

"Or I'll just rot in my thrown, going down like a true castle guardian."

Ignore his words Roze, he doesn't mean it. He just felt a little more comfortable now so a little bit of a weird side of him is coming out.

"That's be a pretty cool image that, right? The army comes rushing in, and there you are, lookin' like a bad-ass sittin' in the throne. The army has been fighting in your honor despite you having passing a long, long time ago. Mhm. And when the Roze Army invades, we're so in awe of your dignity and determination - regardless of how stupid - that we erat a state on that very place of you sitting in the throne, immortalized in cold marble forever. And everyone can see the Folly of King Squall. Hm. Its really quite poetic," she snickered, raising her hand to pinch his cheek lightly.

"Don't die on your throne, Pretty Boy. Come out of the castle and play."

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