thefolder | Hey now. Hey now. Don't dream it's over.

Who: Marley Rose (

wall_flower) and Cam Saunders (

headup_stickontheice)
What: Marley and Cam have a little chat because worry begets worry, and things need explaining.
When:April 17, 2013
Where: Cam's room, F1-002

Hawkmon had been the one to wake Marley again after her talk with Commander Shepard. Truth be told, Marley didn't want to wake up then. After what she saw on the D-Terminal with Cam and whoever it was he had been talking to...to say she was scared simply put it mildly.

Talking with Commander Shepard helped ease some of the fear, knowing that Cam was going to be okay now. But she still felt sick, and the pancakes hadn't made things better, but that was for other reasons. It wasn't until Hawkmon woke her to tell her Cam wanted to talk that she actually got out of bed.

Still feeling like hell, for lack of a better word, she took the offered D-Terminal from Hawkmon and sent a quick text message to Cam:

Hey. You okay? Hawkmon said you wanted to talk. Can I come over?

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"I'm going...for something else. Not for feeling like how you do, but..." She took a deep breath, her fingers curling until her hands are in fists. "My therapist specializes in...in eating disorders..."

There. She said it. Now to wait until Cam freaked out or told her to leave. Her eyes glance up at Cam, her body tense as she mentally prepared herself for whatever her friend was ready to throw at her.

As Cam's looking at Marley when she glances at him, their eyes meet, and there's no scorn, just some kind of sad support. The look on her face, he recognizes it. The fear and terror. And more than that, he feels her stiff. Tentatively, he wraps an arm around her shoulder.

"I'm real sorry." He doesn't know all that much about eating disorders, but he knows Maya, in confidence, mentioned once that her sister Katie used to, after he'd overheard a dismissive comment about binges; Katie'd made it herself, so he got the feeling it really was something in the past. But that's not what Marley's going through, is it? "I'm, I'm sorry you feel...that way, and... that it's... that you..."

He really isn't good at saying things. Or providing support. So the side-hug he has her in tightens, just a little. It's weird, because she's a bit taller than him, but it's something.

Cam didn't have to say anything. Just the side-hug was enough for Marley to know that she wasn't going to be sent away. That Cam understood her just as she understood him.

It was more than enough, and she carefully leaned more against Cam, her head placed on his shoulder.

"Thanks, Cam. And if you...if you ever need to talk or something, you can call me. Anytime, okay?"

Physical touch really does help. The hug tightens and he shifts, so he's a bit more comfortable. "Yeah," he says, and it doesn't just feel like he's saying that, it's like he means it. That, more than anything else, helps.

And he feels like, he should at least say at least, at least, well.

"...Marley, I'm... When I got here, I was...glitching. 'Least that's how some've said it. I was...flicking, for a few hours. It's..." He doesn't want to say it. "People only do that when they were...dead."

He wants to tell her he's probably not going back, given what Koushirou said.

"Wait, does that...does that mean you..." Marley lifted her head up to look at Cam. Did he really...go through with it back home? Did he truly...

"Oh...Cam..." Before she realized she was doing it, her arms were thrown around the boy's neck in a hug. What would drive him to do such a thing? Why would he want to do it now? Marley couldn't even stop herself from crying on Cam's shoulder. "C-Cam, I'm so...so sorry. All you w-went through. To...To make you do someth-thing like that..."

He can't look at Marley. He can't, he can't face her. He feels sick, but he wants to tell her. He wants to tell more people, maybe then he'll be able to work through why.

"I- I did." The words come out strangled. She's crying on him, just like how he cried on Shepard, and he can do nothing but rub her shoulder and lean his head against hers. "It, I'm, I didn't even...know. Something was really wrong, with me, I just thought I..." He won't cry. He can't. Not again. "...it was my fault."

Which, honestly, he still does, but he's actively trying to remind himself it's not. "...It's why when Henry asked that, I just...reacted."

A tighter hold. He wishes he had Hoot in his hands right now, but he can't have the little owl all the time.

"Don't...don't listen to him. Okay?" She choked back a few sobs, a vain attempt to compose herself. "P-People like that just...they just want to hurt other people and...and you sh-shouldn't have to go through that. Not again."

Marley held on tight to Cam. She didn't know if her words would get through, but maybe holding him would. Still, it didn't keep her from talking through the tears.

"Y-You're my friend, Cam, and I don't...I don't want to see you get h-hurt..."

"I'm not. I know." His voice wavers and cracks, and he shuts his eyes very tight, to try and keep the tears back. It doesn't work exactly. "Miss Shepard, she. Talked to me, and I'm. I wanna try. It's, I'm. ...There's something wrong with me, but I...can't, control it."

To be honest, more he's thought about, more it seems like a cop out. Why's he got this excuse for things? And if they can't find any of that medication Shepard talked about, does that mean he's going to stay like this, forever?

"I want to," he chokes it out, and as he opens his eyes, he can't hold the tears in anymore. "I want to get better."

His head's leaning against hers and he adds, softly, "That day out, it was...some of the most fun I'd had in weeks. Thanks."

"That's...That's why I'm seeing a therapist. I want to get better, too." After taking a few deep breaths, Marley was finally able to get her sobs under control. "After I-I passed out at sectionals, I started going to one." She stayed there on the bed, hugging Cam and seeking comfort, as he was likely doing. They needed this. Both of them.

A small smile took to her lips when Cam spoke again. "I-I had fun, too, Cam. I'm really happy it made you happy."

In a stunned quiet, Cam stares at Marley, everything else going out of his head. "You...passed out?" He remembers her talking about the other team being disqualified, and he's quite familiar with how competitions work. Having been in and on various sports and teams since grade four would do that.

The pieces slide into place and he rubs her shoulder, if only because he's already holding tight. "You didn't let anyone down." He misunderstood what she'd said, before. "'m new to this, but...this kinda stuff, messes us up, sounds like. It's not, your fault."

A stab of phantom pain shoots through Cam's left arm, which is loose at his side, because he remembers plummeting from the catwalk in a deliberate attempt to break it, and that...

He would've given anything to have someone tell him that wasn't his fault, in the weeks after, when he laid awake wondering just how screwed up he could get before he collapsed in on himself.

"It was my fault. I didn't eat or sleep for days. There was just so much pressure, and I knew I'd be the one to let everyone down." Marley shook her head slowly against Cam's shoulder. No, now's not the time for this. This was meant to be time to talk to Cam and make sure he was okay, not...whatever it was turning into.

She sighed softly and lifted her head up, her hands moving so that they cupped Cam's cheeks. Her eyes met his, and she spoke in a very determined manner.

"We're going to get through this, right? Both of us? We're going to work on getting better?"

Cam can understand the need not to talk, and he won't push her. Especially since this is supposed to be him explaining, him making things okay. So he doesn't, and he lets her just move his head, lets her powerful voice wash over him.

And he slowly nods, putting one of his hands on hers. "Yeah. We're, we're gonna get better, together."

It's scary. But having someone else with him makes it a little less so.

Hey now. Hey now. Don't dream it's over.

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That's his O face.....Isn't it?

NO IT IS NOT ALI JEEZ.

Re: NO IT IS NOT ALI JEEZ.

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