The voice rang for what must have been the millionth time. Memories kept running through his mind... a young blonde girl laughing at him as he cried. Telling him he deserved it.
Being beaten up by a person he thought was his friend.
The world blowing up. An atomic bomb's explosion. Fighting. Dying. Pointlessly fighting and dying.
Haha. Why was he even here? NO. That wasn't right--he knew why he was here.
He was here for Taichi. He was here because he had to rescue Taich--"You actually felt sympathy? I gotta hand it to you, Ed. You're the biggest idiot I've ever met."
Ed cried out as he felt the gouging feeling again. He fell forward and caught himself on his hands, staring at nothing--the ground. He crawled forward still, feeling nothing but pain. There were scratches all over his body and they burned. His heart felt empty... something was missing, but he couldn't place what. He remembered a war he'd never seen. More senseless violence. Being beaten down and crushed underfoot by someone he'd thought was a friend for trying to protect the wounded.]
...I don't want to remember...
[The memories didn't stop though. Every time a 'friend' had led him into a trap, a classmate had asked him to borrow money for 'really the last time' and said they'd pay it back (they never did). Every time he'd been beaten up, thrown through a wall, had things dropped on him. Every happy memory he'd ever had with his sister when she showed up once a year for his birthday--how hollow they all felt now, now that he realized he had been the only one who cared at all.
"WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING SO STUPID?!"
He wasn't sure the voice was talking about believing his sister anymore.
...He couldn't take it anymore. The pain was too much. The numbness, the hollow feeling that was caking in his heart. This place... He didn't like this place at all. Still, there was one thing this field couldn't control. Him.
All at once he forced himself to laugh, yelling as loud as he can in hopes that someone, anyone would be able to hear it.]
Well! It's d-definitely a good thing th-that I came in here after all! I was right! I w-was absolutely right! [If the place was going to just get worse and worse, he just had to get more and more optimistic. There was always a bright side!] I d-d-d-definitely don't want a-any of my friends coming in here! They'd get really... REALLY hurt a-and I wouldn't want that to happen to any of them!
[The voices kept hitting him. He just yelled louder.] It doesn't matter if I feel hollow or not! I-It doesn't matter how I feel! My friends are depending on me! If I'd f-fight when I was sick, o-or if I'd fight when I was feeling sad... then I wouldn't stop now! I WON'T STOP NOW! SHUT UP!
["You're going to fail. You always screw everyth--"]
SHUT UP SHUT UP JUST SHUT THE HELL UP! I am really sick and tired of listening to you! You are just a bunch of memories and feelings that are trying to make me feel terrible about stuff and I don't want to do it anymore!
[The memories, the scratches, it didn't stop, but if nothing else he was able to focus enough to move forward.] You know what?! I'm going to sing a song! YEAH! I'm going to pick some stupid song and I'm going to sing it the entire rest of the way forward because you are a giant, dimensional buttface! And if you don't like it? BITE ME!
[The field seemed to oblige, as Ed felt another chunk of him go missing... a tearing across his shoulder--like something had skinned it.]
Oh ha ha, VERY FUNNY! [The images didn't stop, but even as they went through his brain Ed forced them out, forcing himself to instead sing some kind of tuneless FIGHT ON song that looped endlessly.
He was tired, he was hurt and he was sad, but so long as he drew breath nothing was gong to stop him.]
no subject
The voice rang for what must have been the millionth time. Memories kept running through his mind... a young blonde girl laughing at him as he cried. Telling him he deserved it.
Being beaten up by a person he thought was his friend.
The world blowing up. An atomic bomb's explosion. Fighting. Dying. Pointlessly fighting and dying.
Haha. Why was he even here? NO. That wasn't right--he knew why he was here.
He was here for Taichi. He was here because he had to rescue Taich--"You actually felt sympathy? I gotta hand it to you, Ed. You're the biggest idiot I've ever met."
Ed cried out as he felt the gouging feeling again. He fell forward and caught himself on his hands, staring at nothing--the ground. He crawled forward still, feeling nothing but pain. There were scratches all over his body and they burned. His heart felt empty... something was missing, but he couldn't place what. He remembered a war he'd never seen. More senseless violence. Being beaten down and crushed underfoot by someone he'd thought was a friend for trying to protect the wounded.]
...I don't want to remember...
[The memories didn't stop though. Every time a 'friend' had led him into a trap, a classmate had asked him to borrow money for 'really the last time' and said they'd pay it back (they never did). Every time he'd been beaten up, thrown through a wall, had things dropped on him. Every happy memory he'd ever had with his sister when she showed up once a year for his birthday--how hollow they all felt now, now that he realized he had been the only one who cared at all.
"WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING SO STUPID?!"
He wasn't sure the voice was talking about believing his sister anymore.
...He couldn't take it anymore. The pain was too much. The numbness, the hollow feeling that was caking in his heart. This place... He didn't like this place at all. Still, there was one thing this field couldn't control. Him.
All at once he forced himself to laugh, yelling as loud as he can in hopes that someone, anyone would be able to hear it.]
Well! It's d-definitely a good thing th-that I came in here after all! I was right! I w-was absolutely right! [If the place was going to just get worse and worse, he just had to get more and more optimistic. There was always a bright side!] I d-d-d-definitely don't want a-any of my friends coming in here! They'd get really... REALLY hurt a-and I wouldn't want that to happen to any of them!
[The voices kept hitting him. He just yelled louder.] It doesn't matter if I feel hollow or not! I-It doesn't matter how I feel! My friends are depending on me! If I'd f-fight when I was sick, o-or if I'd fight when I was feeling sad... then I wouldn't stop now! I WON'T STOP NOW! SHUT UP!
["You're going to fail. You always screw everyth--"]
SHUT UP SHUT UP JUST SHUT THE HELL UP! I am really sick and tired of listening to you! You are just a bunch of memories and feelings that are trying to make me feel terrible about stuff and I don't want to do it anymore!
[The memories, the scratches, it didn't stop, but if nothing else he was able to focus enough to move forward.] You know what?! I'm going to sing a song! YEAH! I'm going to pick some stupid song and I'm going to sing it the entire rest of the way forward because you are a giant, dimensional buttface! And if you don't like it? BITE ME!
[The field seemed to oblige, as Ed felt another chunk of him go missing... a tearing across his shoulder--like something had skinned it.]
Oh ha ha, VERY FUNNY! [The images didn't stop, but even as they went through his brain Ed forced them out, forcing himself to instead sing some kind of tuneless FIGHT ON song that looped endlessly.
He was tired, he was hurt and he was sad, but so long as he drew breath nothing was gong to stop him.]